


how to survive the holidays

by annaloveswriting



Category: SKAM (Italy)
Genre: Filippo is his guru self, Homophobia Mentioned, Light Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:07:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22506787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annaloveswriting/pseuds/annaloveswriting
Summary: Elia doesn't know how to survive the holidays with his family and Filippo is there for him.
Relationships: Elia Santini/Filippo Sava
Kudos: 34





	how to survive the holidays

“I don’t really know what to do, Fili,” Elia whispered and absent-mindedly played with Filippo’s fingers. “My granddad has all these disgusting ideas in his head and he can’t keep them to himself. And to be honest, my uncle and his wife, the ones with the daughter working in Milan, they aren’t any better. They just rant about anything and everything - foreigners, immigrants, unemployed people, students… gay people…”

The last phrase, he said so quietly that Filippo hardly understood him. He smiled sadly and kissed his boyfriend softly on the lips.

“You’re not gay, though,” he whispered against Elia’s lips and carefully stroked his cheek.

“It’s all the same for them. A trans girl is basically just a gay boy. A bi boy? Gay. What is bisexuality anyways? A straight boy in a pink shirt? Gaaay. ‘Not stereotypically masculine’ equals gay. Amen.” He asked in a fake voice, mimicking his uncle’s usual festive sermons.

“Amen,” Filippo repeated after him and kissed him again.

Elia drew back a bit, wondering. “Aren’t you upset that half of my family are bigots?”

Filippo sighed and sat up. “It’s not just half of you family, babe. There are bigots everywhere. If I let myself get upset every time I hear about another hateful person, I’ll get depression in no time. Trust me, I’ve been there.”

Elia looked at him, the expression on his face sad bordering hopeless.

“So, what do I do instead? Ignore it?”

Filippo gave him a half smile.

“You don’t agree with them. You tell them that it’s not nice but only if you’re okay and safe with doing so. Again, only if you’re safe, you can try and educate them. A lot of people genuinely don’t know how wrong they are. They just believe what they’ve always been told and base their opinions on that. And then, in general, you only focus on the people who are nice. Your support system. Your friends. You focus on love. Always. That makes the bigots more bearable.”

“It’s not always this easy, is it?”

“Nope. But you don’t really have a choice.”

Elia just stared at the ceiling for a while, contemplating Filippo's words. “What do I do when I can’t really do anything? When it’s not safe to say anything against them?”

Filippo’s heart ached at the implication. He started playing with Elia’s hair to not have to look into his eyes. “A few years ago, when my grandparents were still alive, they took us to Church every week. And I had to sit still and be a good boy, knowing that the majority of the people in there believed my love is a sin. Even if they didn’t openly hate people on the lgbt spectrum, they at least thought our love is disgusting and wrong. A few times people even told me it was brave of me to come here and ask for forgiveness - I always liked to wear what I felt comfortable in and I always loved colours and not stereotypically straight clothes, so most of them probably assumed I was gay anyways.” He grinned slightly, his eyes still focused on his fingers in Elia’s hair. “The thing is, I never asked for forgiveness because I never felt the need to say sorry for who I am. I always sat there and intentionally thought about naked guys and their muscles and what I wanted to do to them. Kiss them, blow them, fuck them, be fucked by them.” He finally looked into Elia’s eyes once again, wiggling his eyebrows. Elia shortly smirked right back at him. “They can say hateful things, they can hurt you, they can control what you do but they can’t control your thoughts if you don’t let them. And it always felt like triumphing over them. To know that I wouldn’t let them have my thoughts. It felt good. Does that make sense?”

Elia nodded. “A bit, yeah.”

“So, when your uncle or your granddad say hateful things, you just sit there and think about how much you love having sex with this extremely handsome, stunning and absolutely wonderful guy you’ve just recently met when one of your best friends fell in love with another wonderful - but slightly less wonderful than I - guy.” Elia laughed and sat up to straddle Filippo’s legs and kiss him. Filippo reacted immediately, kissing back eagerly. “It will make you feel free. Or it least, it makes you feel better… trust me.”

Elia cupped his face. “I do trust you.”

Filippos grinned, the scene with Martì on the rooftop coming back to his mind.

_“Do you trust me, Rose?”_  
_\- “I trust you, Jack.”_

“Do you trust me, Rose?” He asked between two kisses and smiled warmly.

With Martì, it had been all comic relief. With Elia, it’s different. His heart skipped a beat when Elia immediately answered, whispering “I trust you, Jack” against his lips. With Elia, it’s serious. It’s real. It’s true.

His heart stuttered again - maybe even skipping two beats - when Elia rolled his hip and asked, “Care to give me more memories to recall over dreadful Christmas meals?”

Certainly, when he put it this way, Filippo was always glad to be of service…

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this about a year ago on tumblr but I wanted to have it on my ao3 as well. so here we go :) I hope you liked it!  
> come and find me on tumblr @lingenthusiast


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